"Girl" talk

So it's Wednesday night...otherwise knows as "steak night" around these parts. For the last few months my buddy Danny and I have met just about every Wednesday night for a great steak and great conversation. I mean, what could be more manly than a couple of guys having a few beers, steak, and fries and talking about Camaros, Harleys, trucks, football, grocery shopping, self pity, sex, what to cook for dinner, flowers, sex, advice, shopping, boobs, sex, coochy cream, sex, and hairstyles? We have no secrets...and no shame. What's funny is that we do talk about all those things and so much more...we call it "girl" talk because we do get into what goes on in our lives, relationships, and our feelings. We give each other straight up advice, take it or leave it, but it's there. We've had some friends and family join us on occassion and it's a great time for the guys just to talk about whatever is on everyone's mind and to get uncensored advice from each other. Most of the time it's just the two of us, but we always welcome anyone to join in as long as they can handle some "R" rated conversation.

Last night I had dinner with Amanda. Every time we sit down to talk it's hard for me to believe that I can actually have an adult conversation with her. Damn she is gowing up fast. I was watching videos of her recently from when she was almost 3 years old. I was just asking her questions to get her to talk, and she was rattling out the answers like a little chatter box. I sure do miss that. I'll never forget one time I was driving passed the Murphy Oil Refinery in Meraux and she said "I work there Daddy". I said "you do huh? what do you do there"? And she said "I make crawfish, pirates, and air blower motors". Absolulte God's honest truth that is what she said...and she was 3 years old. I almost drove right off the road I was laughing so hard.

So for years I had always come across a lot of churches that are a "First Baptist Church". And I always asked myself "is there a such thing as a Second Baptist Church"? Well, after years of searching I did indeed find a "Second Baptist Church". I was driving in Texas last weekend and there on side of I-10 was the place I had always wondered about. I almost feel let down in a way because I thougth about that question EVERY time I saw a sign for a First Baptist Church, and now I know the answer so what I am going to ask myself now? But alas, the natural progression of what question should be asked has come to mind...after the First, and the Second Baptist Church...you guessed it...does candy corn really taste like corn?

Another of my favorite quotes to live by:

"I was thinking one day and realized that if I just had somebody behind me all the way to motivate me I could make a big difference. Nobody came along like that so I just became that person for myself".

I'm baaaaaaaaack!!

So, OK, things didn't quite work out the way I planned with this blog. Let me just say this...and my buddy Danny can back me up...this year, 2009, has to be about the craziest year on record. He and I say that all the freakin time cause it seems like every time we turn around, something just happens. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I've seen it all. Some things I'm not ready to talk about just yet, but others I'll discuss in future posts. Some are minor, like why the hell am I letting my hair grow long? I haven't really found a good excuse for that other than "because I can" or "I'm growing it while I still have it". Some are major and have changed my life in a lot of ways. Most of those are not for public consumption quite yet. I will say that my daughter turned 16 (yes, that's her pic on the right), got her license, and a car last week. It's just hard for me to imagine my little girl driving something bigger than a Little Tykes Cozy Coupe. Like I need another reason for my hair to continue turning white. I will also finish the road trip posts. I was able to fulfill at least part of a dream; driving Route 66. I made it all the way across Texas and New Mexico. A special thanks goes to http://www.legendsofamerica.com/ for their research and motivation to do that. I plan on finishing the rest of the Illinois to California journey sometime before my hair is long enough to get caught in the garbage disposal. The road trip in February, along with some major events that have happened since then, have really made me dig deep for some soul searching. I think I lost sight of the basics in life and wound up doing and saying things that I'm not very proud of. Along the way I became unhappy with a lot of things, but mostly with myself. I lost the drive to do photography which had up till then been a passion, and escape, for me. I've had to "reset" and figure out what I want out of life. I realized that if I'm not happy with myself there is no one on this planet, or any other planet for that matter, that can make me happy. So I began a different journey of sorts; to find out how to make myself happy and accept and take responsibilities for the things that I have said and done. I'm at peace with myself now for passed mistakes. There is absolutely nothing I can do about anything that has already happened, I can only set myself up for a better future. I have found strength in a few things; quotes, music, friends, and now my photography again. One of the most motivational quotes for me right now is:

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending".

That pretty much sums up what I am working on now. I plan to do everything I can to be happy with myself. Also the music I listen to has become a huge part of who I am. I spend a few hours a day listening to music, of which probably 90% of is never played on the radio. When I get home from work I turn on the XM radio on DirecTV and let it play. Right now I'm listening to L'Acrobat by Ferry Tayle & Static blue. Trance and Progressive music just takes me to another place. I guess that's why they call it "trance" (wow, imagine that concept!).

I'll have more about my favorite quotes, music, trips, photography, the effect of coastal errosion, what "vegimite" is, and why I laugh when someone says "hot dog" later. I'll be posting every night (yes, I know you've hear that before and here we are now 9 months and 17 seconds later). But this is part of my healing and therapy; just talking about whateva! So like General Motors and their "reinventing" themselves, we'll see if I can do the same thing. Good night to all!