We've all been there before…looking for a place to sit and relax for a maybe a few moments, or perhaps maybe longer…in order to simply give our weary feet a rest or make a decision that will chart the course for the rest of our lives. As a guy, I know I've looked for sanctuary after trudging through store after store in the mall behind a female intent on looking at every piece of clothing in every rack, then trying on almost everything and usually buying nothing (no offense to anyone, but ya'll know what I'm talking about even if you don't want to admit it). I know I'm not alone here…I've seen the plight in the faces of my fellow man when subjected to this. No doubt you've seen us, or been a part of us, in the middle of the mall sitting on benches waiting to be told where to go next. "Shopping widows" sometimes strike up conversations about sports and beer, trying to hold our dignity intact knowing full well the boss will be along shortly to pull the leash and make us stop at every store except the ones we want to stop at. If you have ever been on a hike, or long walk, you understand that feeling of relief when you see an empty bench up ahead. Kinda the same feeling I get when the waitress brings me my roast beef sandwich at Bears. There is something to be said about taking a load off your feet when you need it most…and that word is usually "ahhhhh" or "whew". I can't even count the number of times I've been hiking in mountainous areas and been happy at the sight of an empty bench just up ahead. In this case, mostly the goal is to just get some rest, maybe catch a drink of water, and continue on with no other thought than getting to the destination. At that moment though, the normally insignificant bench becomes very important even if it is just for a fleeting moment. Will you remember this particular piece of furniture as you continue your journey? Chances are probably not. I know I can't remember all of the places I stopped on a hike. But there is a flip side to this that I had been thinking about, and it came to me full force today while I was walking on the lakefront. All along the path there are plenty of benches…some obviously old and some fairly new. Some of them have been dedicated as memorials to people who really loved the area or made significant contributions to the park. There were not a lot of people out there today. Perhaps because it was a bit cool and overcast, or maybe people are still trying to sort out all of the beads they caught at the parades. But there have been times where I've seen almost all of them occupied. Someone reading a book…someone taking a quick break from jogging…couples in each other's arms watching their kids play…a pregnant lady having maternity pictures taken…a couple of teenagers playing a flute and clarinet…a young couple obviously having an argument…and so much more. Then, of course, there is me thinking "if this bench could talk". I think like that when I'm out photographing old barns and farmhouses out west. I try to spend as much time as I can just walking around and thinking what things may have taken place there. I think about how at one time this was someone's new house, their pride and joy and the payoff for long days of struggle to put a roof over their heads. These places are filled with memories for people who have lived here. Most people pass by and probably never give these places a second look. I stop and wonder. For those who have lived here, it could be a symbol of great pride or of horrific loss. Good memories…bad memories…things they would love to never forget…or would do anything to forget. Today…looking at the empty benches…I thought about all of the conversations that have taken place in these exact spots and how, for some, they will want to come back to these particular spots to reflect on happy times. Or perhaps someone may go out of their way to avoid it altogether, not wanting to re-hash a very painful time in their lives. Just before getting back in my truck, I stopped at one particular bench that I've frequented for many reasons. I've read books there, rested my weary feet, and also sat and looked out over the lake and thought deeply about the direction my life was headed in. And I thought about all of the others that may have been here. Perhaps, at this exact spot, a young couple shared their first kiss. Perhaps a couple decided to get divorced here. Maybe someone proposed here. Someone may have made a decision to end their life, or perhaps start living sitting on this weathered wood and rusting legs. A young woman may have sat here…scared to death about having her first child and how that will affect the rest of her life. An old couple may have had their last conversation together in this exact spot, looking out over the same brackish water at the Causeway off in the distance. A person may have read a book that changed their lives and went on to pursue a dream. The fact that this bench is right here, in this spot, makes it part of those memories…for had it not been here, any of these significant events would have more than likely taken place somewhere else. This spot may be heaven or hell. The water ebbs and flows, the sky changes, the grass dies in winter and comes back in spring, but the bench stays right here. I wonder how many people come out here and say "I was sitting right here when _____". I know of at least one. I could easily walk around my neighborhood to get my outdoor exercise. But I choose to drive the 10 minutes down to the lake and visit a place that is as much a part of me as any keepsake I've ever had. My recollections are not of the unhappy kind. The discussions I've had with myself here have played a role in my attitude towards a lot of things and the hopes I have of being a better person all the way around. I've sat here for hours sometimes…on occasion with a good book, other times with just my thoughts. The view is relaxing in itself to me. People going about their lives, pelicans diving for a meal, seagulls yapping at each other (no doubt the females haha), and the ever changing sky all merge to make the experience what it is. I'm not going to say which bench is "mine", but if someone sees me there then they will know, and I'm OK with that. I often thought it would be interesting to hear people tell me why one of these spots means something to them, but other times I don't…only because it will take the mystery out of it. I like the thought of wondering and not knowing. The sky is the limit that way. No boundaries.
So the next time you are out and about, take notice of what might be some insignificant place or thing. Imagine why someone might want it to always be a part of their life, or never want to see it again. Is there somewhere or something like this in your life that others may not give a second glance to, but only you know why it means something? If you are walking along the lakefront and the urge strikes you to sit down, it may be the bench guiding you there to not only take a load off your feet, but take a load off your mind. Listen to it. Perhaps then, something may come to mind that may help answer that nagging question, guide your future, or help you decide what color to paint your kitchen. Just watch out for those nagging seagulls…if they are flying above you don't look up with your mouth open for they may just give you a present you don't want to receive.
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